Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Poetry getting "Incredibly Popular & Important" Part 2

Even since yesterday poetry has increased further in popularity, partly in thanks to yesterday's report which was published in all major journals.

"Poetry has become more popular than any other arts or cultural phenomenon" says the newly appointed Minister for poetry - on his way to a European summit for poetry.
"Eagle eyed couch potatoes out there will have noticed" says the head of RTE, "That we have begun replacing advertisements with poems, poems pay more and are far more culturally enriching"
The marketeers are happy too. Consultant marketing group Robyablind.com have said "It's just incredible, poetry has found so many more usage occasions, they're hip with the Yuppies and down with the Dinkys. Also the shelf life is extremely good, making supply chain logistics a dream to manage"
Sports people are increasingly disrupting games to do a quick poetry reading, with Man Utd stopping their recent game with Middlesborough for a couple of motivational Limericks.
Children are coming under increasing pressure to study poetry, with parents trying to dissuade them from pursuing reckless careers in banking and other traditional jobs.
Most international corporations, starting with Macrofuzzy, have instructed their management teams to replace all minutes of meetings with a poem, "This has increased our efficiency tenfold" says McDoo, the head of Macrofuzzy's software development strategy, "We've also begun using poems as screensavers to give us that jolt that we need to get us back to work"
On the darker side of things, students and truck drivers have been said to be "taking in an excessive amount of poems" in, just for the buzz, "helps me stay awake so it does" says an unnamed driver who preferred not to be named, which was just as well since he was unnamed.Hamish Seaney, the former only full time poet in the village, has been accused of setting up a poetry sweat shop, with children as young as 11 and 12 working 20 hours per day to cope with the increased demands for his wares. "That's a load of rubbish" he says, "Those kids are on holidays at my ranch in Longford, if they happen to write a couple of poems while there, then so be it...." he concludes enigmatically, proving he deserves his place at the top of his new york bestselling poems list.
A young couple from Ballybrogan meanwhile, Melinda and Patrick, are complaining that the price of poetry has gone up so much that they can't afford to buy a poem by their local poets. Says Patrick, "I put money down on a haiku by a Czech poet from the plans three years ago,"
Melinda nods "We just wanted to get a foot on the poetry ladder, yknow?"
and Patrick continues - "We were hoping someday to work our way up to a sonnet, but," and then he shrugs, "our haiku hasn't even been written yet."

This reporter has been asked to seek out other examples of poetry popularity reaching new heights - so we want you - yes YOU - to post a report on your blog telling the world how much this craze for poetry has taken over your village.... Meanwhile the minister for poems assures us this demand for poetry is not going anywhere, the new trend is set to stay well into next week.

13 comments:

the watercats said...

ha haaa!.. wouldn't it be cool! I liked the idea of the poetry sweatshops.. not sure I could cope with all of society ambling around in states of melancholy like you poetry lot though ;-)
and would have to put a word in for the non spoken singy type word lot.. WE DEMAND TO BE HEARD! :-D

NanU said...

Yeah!
and, like, we could get a bus or something and take poetry all around to the deprived masses. I'd trade a couplet for a Guinness any time. Popular indeed.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Poteen?

Niamh B said...

hah watercats - yes poetry sweatshops, surely more productive than workshops?
There's an idea NanU...
TFE - Poeteen

Totalfeckineejit said...

I knew it!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hang on ,poeteen? A lyrical alcohol, or a pissed poet?

Box of Frogs. Mad as. Again.

Ross said...

We are heading for a poetry bubble, just like in the early 80s. There are stories of unfinished ghost sonnets all over rural Ireland. Inevitably, the larger publishers will outsource to Bangalore.

Niamh said...

Too right!Its everywhere, its madness, i caught my youngest hiding a poetry book under his t-shirt, time enough for all that when he's old enough to deal with the consequences, everyone knows rhymes eventually lead to harder stuff...and blindness....
from
an errate eagle eyed couch potatoe.

Niamh B said...

Póit is Irish for hangover anyway TFE! I told you this before...
Ross, I won't hear of this negativity, talking down the poeconomy, don't you know the worst that'll happen will be a soft lyrical landing?
Niamh - you have to clamp down on that... he'll be snorting villanelles and injecting sestinas before you know it.

Emerging Writer said...

Reports are coming in from LA that Angelina Jolie has bought up the entire poetic output of Namibia and there's a run on the Portuguese Ode. "They're will be none left for the locals," moaned Jose, a Lyrical speculator.

Titus said...

In the latest outbreak, an official poet has been appointed Laureate of this year's Wimbledon Tennis Championships.
Matt Hervey, who famous works include;

"If ever he's brutish
Or brattish or skittish
He's Scottish
But if he looks fittish
Or his form is hottish
He's British"

said of Wimbledon's traditions,

"I've got to make sure I touch upon strawberries and cream, Cliff Richard and barley water."

Oops. That's real.

Niamh B said...

When will the madness end?

Anonymous said...

That feckin Hamish Seanie has ALOT to answer for as you say. Agree that it is all a bit of phenomenon the likes of which we haven't seen since em the last phenomenon.

All over the country no doubt parents are berating their children as flighty things for choosing to study Law or Medecine or IT when everyone knows that poetry is where the big bucks are at. As for me, I could barely make it to my computer these last few days I kept tripping over my poetry tiaras.